July 26, 2011

Van Heusen Wanted Women On Their Knees (Serving Men)

Hilarious, Threatening Coming-Out Story From The Onion

Here are the first four paragraphs:

"Mom, Dad, there's something we have to talk about. I've been wanting to tell you this for some time, and I want you to know that while I'm fully aware this might be difficult for you to hear, remember, I am still your son, and I love you very much: Mom, Dad, I'm gay, and so help me God, I am stronger than the both of you, and I won't hesitate to beat you back to the Stone Age if you give me any shit about this.

I know this must be tough for you. I understand this isn't how you expected your son to turn out, and I know you might be disappointed, but just remember that I go to the gym seven days a week and can bench-press 275 pounds easy. I take excellent care of my body, so while you can be upset, you better be careful and watch how you handle yourselves here, because if you so much as make a sarcastic remark or do anything to take advantage of how vulnerable I am right now, this will end ugly for the both of you.

Bottom line: I was born this way. It wasn't a choice. It was, however, a choice to develop huge biceps like this, so take a good long look at them before you think of uttering a hurtful or bigoted remark.

Look, I'm not naïve. I know how you feel about homosexuality, because you've been very clear on that subject in the past. That's why it took me so long to tell you. Dad, you've said some very hateful things, not considering for a second that I might be gay, and it hurt. Not nearly as much as it will hurt when I throw you across the room if you ever say any of those shitty things again, but it still stung."

Read the rest and laugh heartily.

DAMN! This Is The Best Version Of This Song I've Heard Yet

P.S. Watch this one, too:

Her partner in crime is SEXY and there's like 50 more where THAT came from.

J Biebs And His Dad Getting Jesus-In-Hebrew Torso Tattooes

Bieber is 17.

July 21, 2011

Sweet Baby Jesus, This Shit Is Crazy: Jonte' Is Extremely Gay

SASHAY JONTÉ from V Magazine on Vimeo.

Isaac Mizrahi's A Gay Tool, But Eartha Kitt's Fucking Fabulous

LeisureDive Is A Photo Site Specializing In Mid-Air Posing


Insanely Satisfying Flasmob Dancefest For B's "End Of Time"

Zach Braff's Old Site Got Hacked With A Coming Out Statement

Zach’s rep tells TMZ … “He was hacked … that site has been down since 2006.”

Zach just posted his own statement to his Facebook, writing, “My old website got hacked. Someone issued a ‘coming out’ statement on my behalf. I’m still straight and in love with my girlfriend. But not too straight; I still love musicals, brunch and Doogie Howser.”


July 19, 2011

A Blind Item About James Franco? The Explanation Is Great

This scholarly actor who likes to use his education to give him credibility, also loves the adoration from young college coeds. At a recent event, he invited three young freshman back to his hotel room after wowing them with his superior intellect. After an alleged night of hard partying, he sent the girls on their way but made sure they were escorted out of the hotel by security with threats that they were not able to set foot back into the hotel, or to try and contact the star in any way. (BuzzFoto)

James Franco? But who expects us to believe that James Franco was hard partying with female students. It's not what you think. James sat them in a circle around him, read an excerpt from his upcoming book about James Franco by James Franco, then he showed them the self-portrait he made using the pubes that fell from his crotch naturally. James Franco eventually kicked them out after he got butthurt, because one of them dozed off when he sang an acoustic song about himself he wrote while watching a video of him sleeping on a pillow with his face on it. Those freshmen don't understand art!

Debbie, The EHarmony Lady, Loves Cats And Loves To Run

MY Moment Is 2:05 Into This Video With The Handsome Dancer

'Cuz You Probably Don't Have Enough Lisa Loeb In Your Life

July 11, 2011

This Is Just A Funny Clip Of Toddlers And Tiaras Slowed Down

DAMN! The Kid Who Played Neville Longbottom Is Hot Now

His name's Matthew Lewis and he's 22.

Taylor Momsen Is A 17 Year-Old Rock Chick That I Can't Stand

She was on Gossip Girl and she's been in Spy Kids movies n' shit.

I'd Hit It: Thank You, Becks, For The Bruised Cheek Show

Look At This Hateful Comment On A Philly Weekly Gay Story

In a recent Jon Campisi PW story, where he writes about the embarrassing standstill in the state regarding same-sex marriage, a commenter left this gem:

"4. Mike said... on Jul 7, 2011 at 09:50AM
“Wanting to copulate with someone of your own sex is not the same as copulating with someone of the opposite sex. You can't have a baby through homosexual acts. The fact that you claim to love a same sex partner in the same way a heterosexual couple loves each other can never overcome this fundamental difference. Therefore, you're not the same, and therefore, you're not equal.”"


July 8, 2011

This Is The Face Of The Enemy: Michele Bachmann, The Cunt

"Back in 2004, as her home state of Minnesota was debating same-sex marriage, Bachmann sent a flier to constituents urging them to raise their voices against equality. And, to exert some hyperbolic pressure, she compared her warnings to a seaman, Orville Ethier, who tried to alert the U.S. of Japan's attacks on Pearl Harbor:

"You are a type of Orville Ethier -- a patriot looking to secure American freedoms. The is, will the Senators of Minnesota act like the Honolulu military headquarters and ignore your message? Today we face perhaps the greatest attack on the family in our lifetime. Now is OUR time to stand up and send a message to avert and equally impending disaster.""

WWII = impending gay rights. Got it. Thanks, Towle.

UPDATE: Thank you, Whoopi. Preach.

Beyonce Continues To Dominate The World Video By Video

July 6, 2011

OMG: This Is Some Crazy-Ass French Diva Dance Crew Shit

Glee Slips The Big-Lipped Blonde A Pink Slip; Some Care

Hey Justin, I'm Feeling This Bearded And Bespectacled Look

Partly True: But More Funny When Gawker Puts It Like This

From a slightly more legit presentation of the bill's reach, Towleroad:

"California Assembly members helped enact a big gay win today by voting 49-25 to pass Senator Mark Leno's Fair, Accurate, Inclusive, and Respectful (FAIR) Education Act (SB 48). The bill not only requires teachers to include LGBT accomplishments in history courses, but adds sexual orientation and gender identity to the state's pre-existing anti-discrimination clauses.

"The FAIR Education Act will ensure that public schools acknowledge the heroism of individuals and communities who in spite of countless barriers continuously overcome adversity," said Equality California Executive Director Roland Palencia.

"For decades, LGBT leaders have worked tirelessly to improve the quality of life for all Californians. LGBT leaders were heavily involved in the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s, the farm workers' movement, the women's movement, and have built health and human services institutions that now serve millions of Californians. It is time for history to accurately depict our community's contributions," said Palencia."

July 5, 2011

Oh My Goodness, Zac, It's Good To See That You're Staying FIt

That last one, really, I just wanted people to see that man's star tramp stamp. WOW. By the way, Zac's 23. Thanks, Towleroad.