December 6, 2011

Thank You, Jezebel: A Girl's Guide To Attending A Gay Bar

There are NINE POINTS, but this one's my favorite:

"5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Forget this and I'll make you drink my pee.

Most of the other items here have touched on this, but it's really important. The rest of the world is straight and we just live in it. Yet a couple magical nights a week we get to visit a place where we don't have to talk about being gay, explain what a bottom is or risk harassment for being ourselves. Turn your offense-o-meter up to 11 when talking to the locals. If it seems offensive, it probably is. Don't ask for our insider's opinion on the Jerry Sandusky scandal. Don't scream "is he gay?" at every guy that isn't dressed like a Tom of Finland model. If he's there, he's probably gay. Even if he has a beard, even if he's not dancing. Don't trample us on the dance floor, cut in line at the bar (see number 4) or wonder why we get peeved when you're in the men's room. Whether I'm trying to take a shit or play "how many fingers" it's just uncomfortable to have a girl in the place where I'm absolutely not expecting one.

And all that stuff I said about acceptance? It doesn't apply to hetero PDA. By all means take your boyfriend, but please no dry humping. You can do that anywhere. Why would you want to do it here? "I'm so edgy, I got off at a gay bar" isn't a mark of honor. Many people would read it as an invasion and won't hesitate to tell you off."

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